Portland or bust!

I was told that the 15th was the unofficial first day of the rainy season and they were right. On and off all day. I love the rain so it has been nice - a chance to try out the raincoat and boots and go hiking where the tree cover provides a partial shelter from the rain. Let's see what six months of this does to me!

Ok so here's the deal....Portland has been kind of crazy for me. Not that I have gone out and done crazy things. I think I have been in denial that I am not in Ohio anymore. Everything felt so natural and I was not nervous or uncomfortable finding my place in the city. Then all of a sudden it hits me...I am all alone!

Not having any friends has felt really lonely but also very interesting. I get to see myself at my worst. I am lonely in a way I have never been before. It is not a cry myself to sleep loneliness but a I wish I had someone to call if I needed them - that I know would be there in a moments notice. I was really babied by my friends. There was always someone to talk to, hang out with, be silly with. It has been 2 weeks since I have been truly silly and I miss it so much! I feel like anyone I meet right now is going to think I am totally needy and weird and will not want to be friends with me at all. I want the old me back!

However, a good friend told me to give it a month and that I might be miserable for that month but it all would pass and one day I would wake up with a smile on my face and say "wow I am really happy"! Well today was not that day but I have faith it will happen soon.

So I wrote the following a few days ago. I never published it because it was a little scary for me. What if I never feel at home here? What if I made a huge mistake and have to go back home feeling like a quitter?

Today I woke up with a smile on my face.


I have lots of super friendly people I can call if I want to go out.

I have one person that I feel like I can be totally honest with - even things about myself that I don't like.

I played REAL ultimate and was asked to go to my first tourney and to practice with a team!

I made BFF with a girl that undoubtable has to think I am crazy but will realize it is in a good way!

I have a roomie that is not only cool to live with but fun to hang out with!

The play Toots and the Maytals in coffee shops and shoe stores here....and they tour here!

I live a mile away from amazingly beautiful park where I can run and get away from it all!

There are an infinite amount of HOT guys that like to hike/bike/run/ski/surf and can do these things on a football Saturday!

My friends back home are still great and still give me great advice even from 2500 miles from home!

So basically the only way things could be better is if:

1. all my friends/family moved to Portland and raised its cool factor
2. I actually had a job - and did not spend so much time on this computer applying for jobs and waiting for interview requests
3. the rainy season decided to bypass Portland (at least NW) just for this winter
   
4. Orlando Bloom became my neighbor and aggressively tried to court me

So things are good - and I think they will only get better! I miss everyone SO much but I know when I come back in December it will be like I never left and I will appreciate everyone that much more from not having them around all the time!

:-)