Camping

Ahhh camping. The smell of the earth. The crackle of leaves. The earth breathing all around you. Rays of sunlights breaking through the canopy. Hawks swooping. Smoke rising. Every nerve in your body feeling more alive because you are no longer protected.


<---- I took this picture to remind myself that not too long ago I felt free. I laid down on the earth and let go of everything the week had brought to me. I let go of it because I realized it doesn't matter. Things that cause us pain and stress right now in the moment will soon become just memories of the past. As my grandma would say "and this too shall pass".

This was the first camping trip I have taken since I had the grand idea to take to the open road. For me it wasn't just cooking over the campfire, spending 20 minutes trying to hatchet my way through a log and swinging from vines. The whole night seemed like it was basic training to see if I was up to the challenge. Senarios kept running through my mind for what trouble I might run into along the way.

• I will run out of money (most likely)
• I will come across an overly friendly man (I get that here)
• I will be in the freezing cold with no place to stay (scary)
• I will find myself on a road that never seems to end
• My stuff will get stolen/broken
• I will be exhausted (mentally and physically)
• I will be hurt/maimed/killed (at least the first one)

As I walked through the woods I came upon a tree that was only still standing because of the sympathy of the earth. It was rotting from the inside out and I could feel the soft give of its trunk. Usually I would look at the tree and feel sad and move on. I hate to see things die and usually turn my back to them and pretend they are not there.

This time I decided to recognize its death by celebrating its life. I imagined all the tree had seen and been in its day. Growing from a tiny seed to a mighty tree despite the odds. Home to birds and squirrels and chipmunks and creepy crawlers. Giving shade to the forest floor. Keeping the earth protected with its strong roots.

It came down with a thunderous sound as if it was exhaling its final breath. It formed to the earth as its body prepared to nurture new seedlings to come. And so it continues.

So what if this was my new home? What if I had no bed, no stove, no phone, no computer to come home to? What if my only source for information about the outside world came from people I met on the street? I only hear from my family and friends when I am in a place long enough to get mail.

I did realize this weekend that I like to be alone. Not because I don't like the company of other people. I like to call my own shots, set my own pace, live my life the way I want to live it.

I was afraid that I would get lonely or that the experience would not be as great if there was no one to share it with. I think at times it would be nice to share those moments with someone else but I doubt there is anyone out there that could match up with me. I would need a person with perpetual optimism, the type of person that laughs when everything falls apart. They would have to know when to give me space and when to comfort me. They would have to trust me when I do things they don't understand and be up for anything.

So far the only person I have met that fits that description is myself so this trip is destined to be a solo adventure. It actually is better because people that travel solo are more likely to be approached and welcomed by locals.

my favorite picture from this weekend.....I am so happy...a happiness that is not easily obtained in the city!


See the rest of the pics from this weekend here.