How about some more fun fries, guys?

So after a 5 year hiatus from serving I decide I should make extra money and get a side job waiting tables. This was fine 3 months ago when I was still teaching but now with school out I spend way more time there.

I had watched the South Park episode where the guys go to Raisins and Butters becomes obsessed with the waitress back when it first came out but it didn't really ring true to me until I saw it the other night. If you haven't seen this one it goes something like this:

• call the customers by some retarded pet name like cutie or sweetie
• giggle a lot and dance around and act cute
• act like you are so glad to see them because they are so much cooler than everyone else
• touch their arm to up your tip from $5 to $20

My boss recently seperated from his wife and he is now "shopping for a new wife" and hiring girls that specialize in these things. Apparently he wants a ditzy, high pitched girl that has absolutley no common sense. Last night one of the new girls filled all of the ice bins and restocked the lemons AFTER we closed. I tried to be nice but her incessantly calling me sweetie and stroking my hair made me not really feel sorry for her when I made her burn the ice and put the lemons away again.

Back to the South Park comparison:

So I have a couple groups of people that come in on a weekly basis and after watching that episode again I started to pay more attention to how they acted. I talk to my tables a lot but I wouldn't say that I flirt with them. It is more BS'ing than anything. Usually we talk about things like Star Wars or video games or just random things in the news. My regulars I talk to like they are just friends I am hanging out with. Well I noticed that whenever I go to another table to talk to them the guys will look over and it seems like they are listening to everything that I say and it really started to weird me out. It was almost like a boyfriend getting jealous of his girlfriend talking to other guys. They seem like really cool guys and they always ask me to meet up with them after work but it seems a little weird to me.

I mean as a waitress you get asked out a lot but thats what guys do. It's like a macho thing to ask out the waitress. I think I had a total of five numbers given to me on Red, White and Boom night. Do these people think that I would honestly call them up and say "Hey, remember me I brought you a chicken sandwich, wanna see a movie?" Althought there was one guy, who with any luck will come back in to work sometime, who I would have definately gone out with.

Set scene:

Jenni walking towards her table with two glasses in her hands.

Enter super hot guy who looks like Orlando Bloom's slightly older and sexier brother. We'll call him OB.

OB: "Excuse me, may I ask you a question?"

Jenni: (getting ready to point out the way to the bathroom) "sure"

OB: "Are you attached?"

Jenni: (staring at this way out of her league guy and looking around because she must actually physically be attached to something) "What do you mean?"

OB: (looking way cuter than ever with an adorable smile on his face) "Do you have a boyfriend?"

Jenni: (looking around to see the ugly friend he is trying to hook her up with and realizing he is out to dinner with his parents, both of whom are watching with big smiles on their faces) "Yes"

OB: (looking a little suprised and sad): "I see, thank you for letting me down easy."

Jenni: (speechlessly watches her destiny walk away from her)

End scene

Apparently he noticed me singing and playing around (I was in a really good mood that day) and asked his waitress about me. My co-worker not realizing I had gotten back together with my boyfriend briefly had informed said hottie that I was single and getting my Master's in education and that I was very sweet and fun and said that he should ask me out. His parents agreed and rest is history. But seriously, what interest would I have in a mechanical engineer (smart) that like to travel (adventurous) and go camping (fun)? C'est la vie.